There was a Time
by pk-angel
Summary: Inuyasha recalls a love that never really died


Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. No profit. No nothing. So please don't sue.  
  
Summary: read and see  
  
Rating: PG just to be safe  
  
There was a Time by pk_angel  
  
Even if it was only for a fleeting second, he was able to breath in the ethereal scent of heaven. After all the betrayals, lies, and misunderstanding, this was the only thing he ever truly wanted, really the only thing that mattered. How hard it must for him, the mighty Inuyasha, to realize that the heart can not bend to the despite the suffering. Someone that can never be truly possessed, always eluding the desperate grasp until every heartbeat of every second ache with the yearning of love given but never accepted, never returned. He hated her but never a fraction as much as he loved her, and for that he could never forget her.  
  
Tonight he'll have to relive her presence only through memories torn short by cruel fate. The fragrance of the cool evening sky inviting rest that escaped Inuyasha as he surveyed the vast, star filled sky above him. She's sleeping under the same sky as me, he realized. Is she seeing the same stars I see? What was she thinking of? Is she thinking of me?  
  
He let out an audible sigh, the only way to express his longing and loneliness. But in that split second of weakness he strengthen his resolve never to show it, to forget the unforgettable, and to move on down a broken road. People watching, he decided, would never understand. They'd tell him to forget Kikyou, someone who was died, someone from another realm. They'd yell at him for being so naive and insist that loving Kikyou would never do, something that could never be. Move on with Kagome, they'll urge, at least she's still alive. But death doesn't end love. Isn't that the reason why people mourn?  
  
Other people would criticize him and call him stupid. Was he blind not to see that she is evil? That's what they'll pound into his head. If wanting justice is evil then we are all guilty. Back then...what happened wasn't their fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. So why is it that only she should suffer when I'm free? Everyone else will hate her for hating him, wanting to kill him, and hate him for loving her. But they were blind to what he saw in Kikyou whenever fate arrange for their meetings. Whatever hatred she aimed at him was dashed with regret for having to do it. She still loves him, his instincts told him so and he's learned to trust them.  
  
No one could understand. How can they when they are so quick to close their minds to things they don't want to know? Not Sango or Miraku, and certainly not Kagome. And although he did love Kagome, she would, then and again, reflect Kikyou in her eyes, then he would be lost in uncertainty and guilt. It wasn't possible to devote one life to two people. That wouldn't be fair to either of them. He cared too much to do that. Sometimes though he wondered if his love for Kagome came from his affections for Kikyou. Only afterwards he would dismiss thoughts, disgusted at himself for even considering the possibility. Reincarnation or not they were two different people. Inuyasha you have no one to hate but yourself. How can you love two people? Who do you value more? I can't choose. Kagome...  
  
There was only one truth he knew is certain, he missed her tonight more than ever. So much so that he couldn't eat and now he couldn't even close his eyes. How pathetic, he must appear to be such a stricken lovesick pup. He curled up and whimpered, glad that he had distance himself earlier from the group. Tonight of all night he had to be alone to just think, allow himself to recall Kikyou into his embrace, to inhale her lingering scent, to feel her memories wrapped around him as real as the life aura that surrounded him now, and spread until it warmed him despite the nipping air. Is it so hard to allow himself to feel, even though he knew every step back only made the arrow that she pinned on him all those years deeper into his wound? True, he relinquished himself to that arrow, and was still willing it deeper into him. Despite all his reluctance to admit it, he was afraid of forgetting Kikyou. Perhaps more than anything he feared and the fear was a bone chilling shake that was like a poison that gripped deep within. Forgetting her would mean forgetting himself. To him she was his soul, the light that kindled his eyes and spark life and brought worth even though he'll never admit it.  
  
I'd pray to forget but still...  
  
His thoughts drifted and his eyes finally closed. 50 years ago, today, she had lead him down the thicken path away.... Another sigh. Did he really want to relive that day? He had to. There was no way to escape it. Lost in his longing, his vision drowned only to emerge to that day...  
  
"Inuyasha!"  
  
That voice again. He closed his eyes and braced his body for what he knew was coming. The air behind him rushed forward and before he could even turn his head to follow the voice he was pinned up on a tree, left arm dangling with the arrow piercing his shirt. God how he hated this part. The owner of the arrow stepped forth from behind the shadows, lowing her bow. He heard himself growl, "Woman, what is your problem. Could you please stop doing that?" Kikyou took her time to compose herself, brushing her sleeves and wiping the sweat from her brow. Another growl from the frustrated hanyou, "Did ya hear me, Kikyou?"  
  
She shook her head, really pondering how it is that she had the patience to endure Inuyasha's infamous temper. Any observer might've pointed out that she has just pinned him to a tree with an arrow but how does one halt a steed determined to not face you. "Enough struggling, Inuyasha. It was the only way to keep you from running away." Her steady, normally placate voice provoke Inuyasha into a frenzy to be free from this godforsaken tree, and distance himself from her. She scared him not because she had the power to kill with those damn arrows but because of something else. Something she stirred whenever her presence graced him. The sound of her voice alone filtered and made him panic, unsure of whether this feeling was good or even what this feeling was.  
  
She approached him cautiously, trying to tame him. "Inuyasha, please. Just let me..." She reached for the arrow and the sudden consciousness of her nearness stilled him. He dared not breath as she pulled the arrow away carefully, freeing him. His feet touched the ground but he couldn't feel it. It was as if she sprinkled paralysis power around him. "There." She remarked quietly to herself before looking up at him. It was then and there that the world froze to Inuyasha. He witness the most awe inspiring sight he knew of. Kikyou had smiled at him. It was a delicate, almost undetectable gift. A slight curved of her lips on that pale face hinted with such sorrowful eyes. They were one of the saddest smiles' he ever knew and yet there was something about that particular smile, maybe it was the place, or maybe it was a spell. Whatever it was it locked itself into his mind.  
  
Kikyou noticed Inuyasha's eyes heavily on her. Was there something wrong? Perhaps there was a smudge on her face. She returned to her placid expression, "What is it?"  
  
Inuyasha quickly shook out of his daze, "Nothing!" God, he was staring at her. He knew he was rude but not that rude!  
  
He regained his composure and tried to gather as much of his dignity as he could. "What'd you want?" Inuyasha barked out after he finished his task.  
  
"Come with me," was all the response he received before she left him standing there confused at what had just occurred. Inuyasha shook his head. Could she be so stupid to think that he was going to do that? I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing just to follow her! Never!  
  
Inuyasha wrestle with his conflicting urges. His instinct told him to walk away and just ignore her. But there was another tugging that insisted he follow despite instinct. Inuyasha settled his mind on a single course. He was going to walk away. His foot lifted and started him in the opposite direction of the priestess but the further the step he took the stronger the urge to walk back. Before he even realize it he was off, the wind rushing through his mane and he sped to catch up with Kikyou, who never even looked back to see if he was with her.  
  
***** Author's notes:  
  
Well that's all for now. I hope that so far the story was good. It's my first Inuyasha fic so I hope I got everything right. I'm such a newbie at everything. My sister just intro be to the series this month so I'm not clear on the entire story. Kikyou and Inuyasha just fascinated me. Call me a hopeless romantic when it comes to tragic love stories but I felt really bad for them. So bad that I'm penning this fic even though it's so time consuming (well worth it-cause I really needed to get this off my chest). Excuse the grammar mistakes ( I tried to correct)...I'm really in a rush nowadays and just go with the flow. Another thing I really feel like I have to mention. I'm a Kagome fan and a Kikyou fan. So when it comes to who Inuyasha should end up with I'm at a lost. Those of you who think that I'm for Kikyou because of one fic are mistaken. I've read a lot of Inu fic before writing this and I come to one conclusion--there are not enough good Kikyou/Inu-strike that. There are not enough Kikyou/Inu fic out there and I'm dying for a good one (they deserve it). Second, there is a sufficient amount of Kagome/Inu fic that my contribution would make little difference. Lastly, I wrote this because after all the fic that I've read I realize there are a lot of people who don't like Kikyou (aka Kikyou bashing-really bad sometimes). I feel like they misunderstand her and that's just not fair. (One of the reasons I had such a vague summary-I didn't want people to dismiss without reading). Hopefully this fic might clear the bad rep she has. Sorry for the long note if you actually took the time to read it. Anyways stick around for the next chapter, it'll be a good one I promise (hopefully-haven't penned it yet, I only got the thought floating in my head).  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! I write to read the response to story so that I could decide whether to continue or what to improve. It's pointless without reviews. 


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